


Aftershocks

by CountJewku



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 16:09:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10030883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CountJewku/pseuds/CountJewku
Summary: The crew is down one member. Not due to death, but due to choice.A one-shot on Ezra's thoughts of the matter, and of Sabine herself from my perspective (albeit perhaps poorly written.)(Set after the episode Legacy of Mandalore, obviously, and this is also my first attempt at writing in this universe, and writing fan-fiction at all, so comment some constructive criticismif you would.)





	

Kanan, Hera, and Zeb were out on a nighttime mission. It was rare for him not to go on one, but they needed Hera to _"make the cover convincing"_ so he was the one watching over the ship and was glad, for once. He hated those missions, dealing with slavers and unsavory figures of the sort. None the less, there wasn't much to do considering the lack of people... so he walked into his and Zeb's shared room, although he may not be sharing it much longer due to the recent vacancy next cabin over, and let his thoughts wander. He went over everyone he had lost in his life, until he came to the most recent, still slowly healing and hurting wound. He slowly stepped back to his bunk while thoughts raced through his head.

Sabine Wren: Rebel, artist, and much more. Most importantly, a friend. A friend who he had lost. In all reality, he saw this coming from miles away, but he didn't accept it. He couldn't accept it. She was his friend who he **_loved_. ** Sure, she never returned his feelings, or if she did she never showed it, but it didn't mean he stopped. He still had that boyish crush on her that he had oh so quickly developed from the first time he'd met her, he had just gotten good at repressing it. He didn't care if she ever returned those feelings, or even if she didn't even end up being with him, as long as she was safe, happy, and most of all, loved. He had always tried to make her feel that way, even if he did miserably fail and probably came off as such an annoying nerf-herder sometimes. It was only now that he fully realized, truly felt that he might never see her again. That she might be killed before they ever saw each other again, if that would ever happen.

 _"By the time that happens, will she even care about me at all?"_ Ezra idly thought

He only now realized he might never have the chance to tell her the most important words in his life. He only now realized that he may never be able to tell her that above all else, that the Mandalorian deadshot artist of explosions that he loved her and that he still does. Only now, alone in his cabin, Ezra Bridger, Jedi padawan, Loth-rat, orphan, thief, survivor, among other things, allows himself to feel the pain of losing another family member. Only now does he allow himself to feel the pain of the loss of someone he loved, whether it be temporary or not.

He never realized the full extent of how much he loved her until he couldn't tell her. That alone made him want to fly back to Mandalore and see if she was okay and more so to tell her, even though she probably knew anyway. He had no doubt she was perfectly fine dealing with any mere bucketheads, her skills alone would ensure that, but the empire was known for drastic measures too. He knew that he shouldn't be so foolish as to worry, but he always had been stubborn. However, he also knew that no matter how much he wanted to fly back, to stop going on missions for the Rebellion to be with her, he couldn't. One person couldn't be the reason he stopped causing good to this galaxy, because he knew she wanted him to keep going. But that doesn't mean that she didn't leave a void that no one else will ever even come **_close_** to filling.  
   
He _missed_ her. He missed how she used to curse at him if he messed with her like he did Zeb, how sarcastic while also friendly her responses to the friendly flirts he always bombarded her with. He missed the sound of her paints on the Ghost. He missed her voice and even more so her laugh. He missed the sound of satisfaction she would make whenever a mission went pretty well which, while it had been getting rarer, was still one of his favorite sounds he had ever heard. He missed her smile more than anything. At first she hadn't smiled at all. Then, albeit slowly, she came around a bit, but not nearly as much as he would've liked. Then his first Empire day with the crew confirmed that she did indeed know _how_ to smile, she just hadn't before, not at him at least. Her smile when she saw how overjoyed to be able to see his parents in that holo... it had made him feel like he was about to faint. He missed her and everything about her.

 _"And I may never see her or hear any of it again..."_  
   
He realized now that she was gone, back to the family that had betrayed her.

 _"I guess that blood truly is thicker than water..."_ Ezra thought with an air of melancholy tinting his mind.

She had been the one to tell him that this crew was a family... and now he felt like his family was like a broken puzzle, always trying to make pieces match together but they never do.

Ezra couldn't simply be a Jedi and "move on" as Kanan put it. It meant too much to him to be able to.

_"So I'll wait... I'll wait, albeit somewhat impatiently but potently patient, for her to come back. For her to come back to the Rebellion, her family created of choice, and to me."_

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope that wasn't too cringy. Well, thanks to everyone who read that. I know that it has problems and I need to work on writing. Tell me what I'm doing wrong and how to work on it, please.


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